We are Macmillan. Cancer Support
First of all I want to thank you all for being here and offering your time and support.
My bf's grandfather has got terminal prostate cancer. It has already spread to his bones, the treatment doesn't work much anymore and my bf is devastated. His grandad is the very essence of his life and now he's slowly fading away.
I don't know what he feels. I can't let myself feel his pain. I haven't gone over my own grandad's death (it happened last year on 8th of March) and I find it hard to relate to what he feels.
But I want to be there for him. I want to offer him support and a shoulder to lean on if need be. I just don't know how to do this and he's not helping either. He never tells me how he feels and what he thinks.
So please, please tell me from your own experience how I could be there for him, because I've used all my knowledge so far and it didn't help... Thank you for listening.
Hi Laura - people need support in different ways. He might really just need you to sit with him and hold him. You can't take away his pain, you can only let him know that you love him and understand what he is going through.My Mum has terminal cancer and my husband keeps asking me to talk to him. I am normally a person who talks every situation to death but this time I just don't want to talk about how I'm feeling. He struggles to understand why; I don't think I know why myself other than I know I will cry and crying doesn't make the pain go away so I'd rather avoid it for now. I'm not in denial. I am sure he thinks there is an element of that, but I'm not. I think about what is around the corner all the time.Your presence and love is probably all he needs from you at this time.Good luck x
If you have any questions about our organisation our Macmillan team would love to hear from you
You can also follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Flickr or YouTube.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2010
what are these?