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This time yesterday morning I was a complete wreck. Sitting on a hospital bed. Hysterical. Crying. Panicking. NOT doing what my counsellor had told me to do the day before. She had said to take each part of the morning as a stage. To deal with each stage in its own right. To remember I had control and could say 'stop'. Unfortunately, this time yesterday, all that advice was still on a piece of paper in my handbag and not in the forefront of my mind. It was egg harvesting day. I have been...
It's all going wrong. Thought I'd been more in control recently. Think I was just fooling myself. This blog is supposed to be titled 'Fertility'. However, the whole fertility issue is actually the root to the way I'm feeling right now - a pile of rubble again. For the last two weeks, I have been feeling very dithery. Non committal. Twitchy. Since the meeting with the fertility nurse actually. We discussed freezing my eggs before chemo starts. Only been together with my boyfriend...
Met with the Oncologist yesterday. She would like to start me on FEC chemo. My 'cycle' will be 3 hours every 3 weeks, 6 cycles in total. Then possibly Radiotherapy after the chemo (she hasn't had the discussions yet so is not sure whether I'll need it), but definitely Herceptin via IV for a year. Then after all of that, I need to go on the hormone blockers for 5 years. (I am positive for all three of ER, PR and HER2). She would use a Portacath if I choose not to have everything through...
