So, introductions :)
I am female, married, 57, have 4 adult children, two little grandchildren and another on the way.
My husband became a "90's man" and stayed at home to raise our children. I am immensely proud of him for that. I worked full time until 18 months ago, when I was made redundant.
I spent a few months trying to find another job and surprise surprise, no luck there. I spent a good chunk of our redundancy money setting up as a self employed bookkeeper but that built very very slowly and I was just realising I'd have to call it a day when I got my bombshell terminal cancer diagnosis.
So a self employed, unemployed person who used to be the main breadwinner, has suddenly become sick and is likely to never work again. Needless to say, it's the money side of things that almost feels more scary than the "I'm going to die" prognosis. There is still much mortgage to be paid off and no funds to do it.
With regard to my cancer, it crept up on me with no obvious symptoms. A nasty stomach bug about 6 months ago. Then another one two months after that, with the same nasty cramps. Hmmm. Start to get suspicious and make a mental note to check with Doctor. Then two months ago, same again, only getting much worse and ending with an ambulance ride to the hospital.
Operation before Christmas to remove half my large bowel and a cancerous lump. Sent home to "enjoy Christmas" with the news that it's in my lymph glands, can't be cured, and non-curative chemo will be set up to "help manage the disease".
A chat with the oncologist after christmas, who says that without intervention I would have 6-12 months but that he thinks he can buy me up to 5 years.
Should I be thrilled?
I go home reeling with the thought that at best, I have only 5 years and at worst........ I push that thought to the back of my mind for now.
And that's me.
Rabbit caught in headlights and wondering which way to run :)
