My Brave Mum

1 minute read time.

Hello to anyone reading this. My mum started complaining of shoulder pain in September 2010 it  was stopping her playing golf and it was really getting her down She went to the doctors and was sent to physiotherapy and given steroid injections for tennis elbow. The pain increased and mum looked tired and was sleeping downstairs in a chair. Mum had mentioned a small lump but no-one listened. Finally a family doctor listened and referred her to a specialist she had a biopsy and we were hit with the unthinkable secondary bone cancer. Since this time she has had various investigations and scans and they have found another lesion on her spine but to date they cannot find the primary (although they suspect it's on the lung). Mum has had one course of radiotherapy to her scapula and another to her spine. She has had reactions such as the runs, sickness, tiredness, sore throat loss of her voice, thrush in her mouth and more recently confusion. To be honest I am scared stiff of what is to come and each day I wake wondering if mum has slept, is in pain and will be able to get out of the house as she is currently confined to a chair! She has had a PET test today to try and locate the primary tumour and to see where else this evil cancer may be. We have been given a prognosis of months how many who knows? the next step is chemotherapy and I know mum will remain unwell during this there seems to just be no break from pain. I am hoping that someone can give me some positive advice to help during this process as currently I feel that my whole world is a wirl wind and I need to be positive and prepared for what is to come. My mum is only 62 and has 4 grandchildren she has everything to live for as she is a tough old bird.

Vicky xxx

 

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello Vicky, sorry to learn of your mum's illness.  Does she have any pain relief?  Once the pain is under control your mum might seem more herself in dealing with this awful illness.  Sometimes, when we are ill we also become dehydrated and that can make your mum confused so get her to drink, drink, drink plenty of water/juices.  The best thing I learned from your blog is that mum is a tough old bird.  So, give yourselves to the oncology team, do your best and carry on.  Easier said than done but what's the alternative.  I practically live on medication now - prozac, diclofenac, co-codamol, amytriptyline, zopiclone (to help me sleep).  There's nothing worse than lying in bed at night in pain and wide awake because we are scared of the future.  So a little help to sleep goes a long, long way.  It enables our body to rest/restore.  As for the prognosis, Doctors usually do give only months but, as your mum is tough, she could last years if she chooses to live with cancer not die from it.  Get her pain under control and get positive.  Good luck to your mum and love to you all to deal with this nightmare illness.  Ann x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hi hun

    im so sorry that your mum is suffering but what you have to remember is in your last paragraph shes a tough old bird and you really just have to go with the flow in this journey and have to support her in everything i myself am a CUP patient (cancer of the unknown primary ) and im receiving 3 weekly chemo which is no way pleasant at all but some of us get through it with less side effects than others but its not easy

    the PET scan should show up anything ....i had one and it didnt show anything else except the secondaries in my liver so i still dont know where this all started from but hopefully they will find out for your mum then once you get the results you will know where your journey is going to regarding treatment for her

    i think this is the worst time to be truthful the waiting game we all have to play and the feeling of being in limbo i think once the doctors know the full picture then they can give you the full picture on what they intend to do and which road they are going down with your mum regarding her treatment

    its so hard for everyone in the family because you want to help but feel so helpless but knowing you are always there for your mum to love and support her is everything doesnt stop you worrying when you arent there of course but you have to stay positive and deal with the situation in hand dont look back look forward to tomorrow even though tomorrow seems so dull and dreary and another day of worry its another day when you are closer to the results and facing up to the docs getting mum on the right medication for her and treatment started to make her life easier one thing i will say is get in touch with your macmillan centre they are so lovely in there and its a great place to have a chat and get any help for you as well as your mum there is always someone to listen and if your mum is going to have chemo she will be allocated a chemo nurse who are wonderful and you just pick up the phone you know you dont have to feel you are on your own there are so many people available for you as well as your mum to help and support you both and of course this site is a godsend so many lovely people on here to advise you when you need it and support and care even if its just for a wee moan im always doing it on my blogs

    so dry those eyes girl and from this second on think positive

    my friend on here says im not dying of cancer im living with it and its so true chin up and stay strong love to you and your mum

    always here if you need a friend

    jen xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    i can't add anything else apart from hope and prayers - i'm new to this sight and the folk that have replied to you have been an inspiration to me and they will help you thru this too.

    always here to talk.

    love and peace

    Tracey

    xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thank you so much for all the lovely comments they really help me stay positive and I feel really honoured to share these experiences with you. Mum is still waiting for her results it feels like forever so hopefully we will know soon. Today was a good day Mum was not sick and was able to go for a little walk so feeling more positive tonight thans to everyone who replied. Sending my best wishes to you all on this journey xx Vicky

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Found out today mums appointment for results is a week Monday so another long week of waiting ahead. On a positive note though mum and dad are going to try and get away for a break next week and some lovely winter sun. I feel a lot more positive today... mum had a big cry when I saw her last as she cannot taste chocolate she says it tastes awful and chocolate is her favourite thing so she was heartbroken.

    Vicky xxx