This is my second blog post. I have been a little reluctant and a little scared too. But I decided that oh well, I am going to take the plunge. I am just going to write how I am feeling. Good, bad or indifferent and I hope I don’t offend anyone.
The reason I joined is because I need support. I am a wreck. I also want to help others if I can. If it also helps someone to read my loopy ramblings that is great. I am off work this week and have a little extra time to do it as well. Heck, if we were perfect and happy all the time I guess we wouldn’t need to let of steam or seek support. Personally, I intend to whinge and moan for England if I need to and be strong when I have to. I may even change my name to Moaney Moanerson. Just call me Moana. As you can see from my post it has gotten to the point that I am just a little past loopy. Lack of sleep will do that to you.
I got mad at my hubby yesterday and I yelled at him, “Don’t make me a widow yet”! I felt like poop about it too. I had better explain. He is writing a manual for me. Yes, a manual. It has instructions on everything I will need to know about maintaining the house and cars with pictures and diagrams. Yes, Everything. (And there will be a quiz later). Yesterday, there was a man here until almost 10:00 pm fitting parking sensors on the front and back of his car. He is so afraid I am going to bend it when he is gone, or not polish it, check the oil, or keep the leather seats conditioned etc.
Everybody repeat after me… “Armor All is our friend”.
Also yesterday, he was making me check the oil (again) in the car and wanted me to drive to someplace I was not familiar with using only the Sat Nav. (Yes, I have been quizzed on the use of the Sat Nav too). I have a bug and I felt like doing anything but. “I won’t be here forever to help you,” he says. That’s when I said, “Don’t make me a widow yet”. I am sorry about saying that. He is genuinely so thoughtful and loving. I know he is doing it for me. He is so wonderful and yet sometimes annoying.
I do hate driving. I am originally from Dallas and the roads here are so different and scary to me. I drive to work and the places I really need to go and that is about it. I am fine with that. Hubby is worried that I won’t get out and I will cut myself off from being with people and going places when he is gone.
I am crying now. I can’t think of anywhere I want to go without him. I want to be strong for him. He is the most wonderful man. He is so worried about leaving me behind. I am so lucky to have had him to do things for me and to be cared for and loved like that. I have never had anyone in my life care for me that way until I met him.
Yesterday, when the fellow was here doing the parking sensors, Hubby brought me in a perfect white Angel Feather. He found it lying on top of the car. It is just a reminder to us that we are not alone (and for me to chill out). I have some more Angel Feather stories to share another time.
Becky
x
