My mother in law was diagnosed in August with Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer but has remained remarkably well since. She has had some swelling of her legs due to loss of Liver function and some bladder incontinance but has otherwise been able to do most things for herself.
Last Saturday she was admitted to hospital with a DVT and infection in the Gallbladder. She has struggled to regain the same vigour that she had before her admission. I haven't seen her myself as the children and I have been poorly and didn't want to risk exposing her to further infection but my husband has. Apparently she is more dependant now needing help getting to the toilet and with bathing. I desperatly want her home so I can see for myself how she is doing but I'm also terrified about how I will cope with her and the children now she is so much more dependant. I know we will get more support at home as her needs become more complex but it's still a worry.
My husband has started to talk about giving up work so that I can go back to the job I love ( He hates his job). I find that I really don't want too. I know how upsetting I would find it if either of my boys ended up having to provide intimate care for me and I don't want her to feel at all uncomfortable in these final months possibly weeks. I want them to be able to maintain a normal mother son relationship right to the end. What do I do? Should I be selfish and return to work and allow my husband to take up the reins or do I say "no, I'll do this, you concentrate on enjoying your time with your mum". I know that he will find it so much more distressing than I will, he's a sensitive soul. My relationship with the mother in law has been difficult at times and the stress of what she is going through is making her snipe at me more frequently. I don't want hubby on the receiving end of it in case it damages their relationship, he deserves to have only the fondest memories of his mum. Aaargg What do I do?
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