Hello, a small introduction.

1 minute read time.

Hello,

I lost my dad to cancer when I was 12. His illness was kept
from me insomuch nobody spoke to me about his diagnosis, and when he died
(three months after diagnosis) we didn’t speak about it. My mum and I shortly
afterwards moved to another part of the UK. My coping mechanism was to bury
everything, and get on with life. This mechanism was very successful until a
few years ago. Now as an adult and as a mother, I find it extremely painful to
unearth the memories I buried so many years ago. The physical effects I have
when speaking about my dad (increased heart rate, dry mouth) and the
psychological effects (strong avoidance tactics and chronic sadness) seem absurd
to me, as his death was 26 years ago. I also find I am consumed with grief at the
death of people I know, which is happening more frequent now as I get older.
Apart from at funerals and speaking about dad, I am a very happy well-adjusted
being!

Anyway, I have recently set up an organisation which aims to
support parents diagnosed with cancer and who have children aged 12-17 years. I have a team of scientists, academics and clinicians who specialise in cancer and a bunch of
different artists, who will collaborate together to create resources to help parents
talk to their children about their cancer. We have lots of ideas how to ease the
anxieties and engage teenagers. We are also trying to make the resources
applicable to any family. They will be more interactive than a booklet, and
include things to help organise changes in the family life, and explore
emotional changes.

 

I am asking for suggestions on what you would like to see in
such resources? What questions were the most difficult to talk through with
your children? It would be great to get a view point from people who have/or
who are going through this situation.

 

Many thanks in advance,

Caroline

Anonymous