In our latest blog, editor Sofiane looks at ways you can help and support someone with cancer at Christmas...
The idea of Christmas usually conjures up positive memories of tradition and family togetherness. For some, Christmas is about perfecting that ultimate festive dinner or hearing that one song that draws them into the holiday mood instantaneously. And perhaps, for others, it’s simply about binge-watching their favourite TV shows into oblivion. However, for those affected by cancer, Christmas can be a time when they simply want to spend it with those that mean the most to them.
During this time of year it’s easy to forget, with the stress of having to buy a mountain of gifts and the distracting array of lights dazzling each street, that those with cancer may not be able to enjoy or take part in the festivities.
When someone is first given the news they have cancer, they often feel a pressure cooker of emotions that can sometimes overwhelm them. They’re unsure of many things, including what this diagnosis means for their future, who to ask for help, and what they need help with first. Add the pressure of Christmas planning and the expectations on that individual to try to carry on as ‘normal’ becomes too much to handle.
So, if you know someone who is going through cancer treatment or recovering at home during Christmas, here are some top tips you can use to help them feel at ease:
1. Tis the season...to be present
“Christmas might be different if someone you love has cancer; maybe you won't do gifts this year, maybe they won't have the energy to visit relatives or entertain friends. It doesn't have to be a big day. Take the time to be present with the one you love. Take the time to just be.”
Victoria
2. Keep asking "How are you?"
“Just because cancer treatment has finished, often the emotional effects of cancer stay with the person long after. Don't forget to keep checking in and asking ‘How are you?’”
Caroline
3. Humour is ok
“When my best friend was going through her treatment, I tried to keep things as real as possible for her and between us. The last thing somebody needs is seriousness all the time and people surrounding them with grey clouds when actually, making them laugh and keeping things as normal as possible can work a treat. At the end of the day, she is still my best friend and the same girl I grew up with. I knew what I could get away with! Her cancer was not going to change that. It had no chance.”
Michelle
4. Make a meal
“When I was diagnosed, the thought of cooking made me want to cry. I was so tired and the smell made me want to be sick . A friend bought over some meals that she had made. She just made extras when making dinner for her family. She put them all in my freezer and then when I wanted something to eat, I just had to defrost and reheat. Amazingly thoughtful.”
Joanna
5. Don’t be a stranger!
“Most people find talking about cancer very difficult and understandably so. But for fear of saying the wrong thing they say nothing, and communication stops. This is extremely upsetting, so if you're not sure what to say, just say hello, but don't be a stranger!”
Chris
6. Give a hug
“You don’t always know what to say when someone you know is diagnosed with cancer, but sometimes all they want is a hug.”
Maria
These tips have been taken from our website The Source which has comments and advice from people who have had cancer or been affected in some way. Family and friends can find valuable information to help them know what to say or do when someone they care about has cancer. You can also share your own tips.
Whatever you’re planning this Christmas, make sure someone you know with cancer knows they’re not alone. Merry Christmas, from the Cancer Information Development team!
To see what else Macmillan's cancer information team has been blogging about, please visit our blog home page! You can subscribe to receive our blogs by email or RSS too.
We're with you every step of the way
The Macmillan team is here to help. Our cancer support specialists can answer your questions, offer support, or simply listen if you need a chat. Call us free on 0808 808 00 00.
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