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First adult experience of cancer within my immediate family. Struggling with recent news that there is nothing else we can do.
With all the channels of communication open to me I still feel unable to talk to someone directly. Words are easier to write and delete whereas talking leaves me unable to hold everything in and I'm sure people are bored of the wobbly lip and pretend dust in my eye. My partner's mother has, in the last nine months, been diagnosed with pancreatic, lung, liver and stomach cancer with cells recently discovered in her lymph nodes. After two rounds of aggressive chemo back in March we thought we were winning and she was granted a break from treatment. Since then she has steadily got worse and after a scan the other day we learnt that all area's affected show a massive increase in cancer cells. She has been offered more chemo but it's a case of going thorugh harrowing treatment for three months to add another pain filled three months to her life expectancy. She is ready to give up now and that is absolutely her choice, I can't even begin to comprehend how hard that decision is to make but my partner cannot understand this. He is a grown man who I've seen cry once in the 8 years we've spent together and in the last 9 months he has been nothing but optimistic and hopeful for a positive outcome. This recent news has pushed him over the edge of a cliff and I don't think he'll ever land. He is so close to her and relies on her for so much that I honestly don't know whot to do or say. It all seems so final without and end in site.
My mum was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer four weeks ago. We were told there was no cure or treatment and that the outlook was bad. This was a terrible shock to us. She had been unwell for the past few months with aches and pains, mainly in her stomach region. We thought it was some inflammatorty disease or something obstructing inside and that she would be ok once we found out what it was. It felt like we were losing her there and then when we heard the news. Its been four weeks now and she hasn't yet had an appointment with an oncologist to discuss any further tests or chemo.
We were frustrated by this. How could someone be diagnosed with advanced cancer and not be in hospital for treatment? However, as the weeks have gone, my mum has become stronger, she is determined to keep her spirits high even though she feels she is neglected by the doctors. By doing this, she has made things seem 'normal' and we have her back again, I can see she is weaker and thinner than before but her determination to not let this affect her whilst she can makes me happy. I know she probably doesn't have long but she's making the most of her days left. I now wonder whether we should let her have chemo as I've been told, she will be in alot of pain and will the end result change? Would it be better for her to live the rest of her days as she is now?? That is the dilemna but it will be her choice.
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