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Well its MRi day tomorrow and although i am relieved its here I am a scaredy cat too. I am imagining all kinds of horrors too ridiculous to mention in fact. All of a sudden I have become an expert and know in advance what they will say!!!! Wont know any of that until Friday and its agonising. I know that i have many many hurdles to overcome and in the scheme of things this is a relative small hurdle. ( i was rubbish at hurdles at school)
I am trying very hard to be relaxed and give the impression at home that its all ok, i dont want to put my family through any more pain and worry than is necessary. So tomorrow i will be jules with the positive mask on and accept what is to come because I have no choice.
O dear i do sound gloomy and doomy this really isnt me at all i just need Friday to be here so i know exactly what happens next. I dont want my unwelcome visitor to win so my mind set has to change.
Its that old word that sends fear up and down your spine everytime, WAITING. Will it be good news or will it be bad.
I Know this sounds easy Jules but worrying about it wont make it change, it will be what it is. So I send you all the very Best for Friday and hope the news is good. Look after yourself.
Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx
Thanks Sarsfield, you are so lovley, i have been on the site a short time, but you always take time to reply to my blog, and always useful words of wisdom. It makes such a difference.
Love and hugs to you too xx
Hello Jules, just reading your blog made my stomach turn over - I remember exactly how I felt when I was waiting/going through my tests, my feelings returned. Its easier said than done to tell you to just take one day at a time - especially when each minute of every day seems like a lifetime and the night is even worse! I swear the clock went backwards at night and often found myself sitting downstairs watching anything on tv just to pass the time until morning. I couldn't sleep, eating felt futile but I do have to say, my best friend was a family sized glass of wine EVERY DAY. I know I shouldn't but I really did fall apart waiting,, waiting, waiting, knowing. I'm with you all the way Jules. Love Ann x
.Thanks Anne, watch this space..............
Hey Jules. The waiting is the worst part - everyone will tell you that. Once that bit is over you can start treatment and rest assured I think you will feel better once things start happening. I felt that at last something was being done (that said it was a paltry 9 days between diagnosis and first chemo for me)! Good luck - chin up hunny - you know you can beat this thing. xx
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