6 months tommorow but feels like yesterday :( x

2 minute read time.

I can not believe it will be 6 months tommorow since ju passed away in my arms, i feel so sad just like it was yesterday all those so painful memories ive worked so hard to forget have come flooding back , that last week was so devastating ,he fought so so hard and just wouldnt let go ,and ive never really spoken to anyone about those last few days as it was and still is too painful , i couldnt possibly explain it to people as its just impossible to understand unless youve been thier , ive been with lots of people as they have passed away through work but noone as young as ju ,and thats why it was so hard, apparantly when someone young dies , the spirit in them feels its wrong so causes agaitation and they hold on and fight for as long as possible ,which ju did right till the end ,

I have spent the last 6 months fighting to get us out of the devastation ju,s death had on all of us and we,ve done it , we have come out fighting , a very strong family, im a very proud mum we have had some ups and downs , but my kids are doing amazing and im doing ok too , ive got some amazing friends , but no one as yet has realised what tommorow is, but why would they ,its not their husband that died ,

I know how lucky i was , not many people find their soul mate , best friend as i did , i was one of the lucky ones ,yes my husband died and part of me died with him , but that part of me is now back , i need to be happy and be a good mum ,as that is what ju so desperatly wanted for me , he hated seeing me in pain and crying ,he hated the way his skin cancer devastated our life , and  most of all he loved us all ,  as we did him,

So now ive got that out , i will blow my nose ,make a cuppa , and tommorow is meant to be a beautiful day ,so i will have some time alone with him in the beautiful churchyard , and as the song said that we played at his funeral.  its a beautiful day :)

I hope i can think of that not the sad painful memories x

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Jen, you are doing amazing, you really are an inspiration.  You are a lovely mum and keeping your family strong, bless you.  I hope tomorrow is a beautiful day and you can remember the happy times.  

    Hugs

    Nic xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Jenni,

    Although I have never commented on your blogs before, I always read them and what shines through is your fighting spirit, love for your children and the amazing love you and Ju had.  I cannot even begin to imagine what you must be going through but if it helps at all please remember that there are lots of us out here who you may never know, but that think of you and send you love and hugs.

    Sue

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Jenni,

    You have been an insperation to us all on the site.

    The way you and the kids have come through all of this sadness,is something that will stick in my mind for a long time to come. Tomorrow will be a day when you will need all your strength and the good memories of your times together as a family.

    I hope tomorrow passes off both with the good times

    remembered and all the love you both shared.

    I will be thinking about you.

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Jen

    You are an amazing mum, friend and person. Those memories of you and Ju will never fade and remember he is always in your heart and you take him with you where ever you go same with those wonderful children of yours. Ju will always be the centre circle of your forever growing life.

    My thoughts will be with you tomorrow.

    Sending huge hugs.

    Tiggs x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    For You Jenni xxx

    Sometimes it's hard to understand

    To see the reason why,

    Sometimes it's hard to find the words

    To say that last goodbye.

    Sometimes it's hard to look ahead

    With eyes still filled with tears,

    But all our cherished memories

    Will live on through the years.

    And though there are no answers

    The questions still remain,

    Sometimes we just can't comprehend

    Or understand the pain.

    Sometimes it's hard to look beyond

    The rainclouds in the sky,

    Though all our cherished memories

    Will stay as time goes by.

    Sometimes when we close our eyes

    The only thing we see,

    Are moments that are long gone by

    Of how things used to be.

    Sometimes we need to just let go,

    Let tears fall as they may,

    Reliving cherished memories

    That never fade away.

    (Author unknown)

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