To harvest or not to harvest...That is the question...?

2 minute read time.

Met with the Oncologist yesterday. She would like to start me on FEC chemo. My 'cycle' will be 3 hours every 3 weeks, 6 cycles in total. Then possibly Radiotherapy after the chemo (she hasn't had the discussions yet so is not sure whether I'll need it), but definitely Herceptin via IV for a year. Then after all of that, I need to go on the hormone blockers for 5 years. (I am positive for all three of ER, PR and HER2). She would use a Portacath if I choose not to have everything through the vein.

There is a consideration however. A big decision. I am only 36. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. It's been a bit of a whirlwind relationship and we always talk about our future together. I already have two children from my previous marriage, but he does not. He has always wanted his own child. It's not something I particularly yearn for again, but certainly something I would consider if we end up getting married. The odds for someone of my age going through what I am about to go through, leave me with a 60% chance of remaining fertile. Not horrendous odds. (Nil percent apparently had I been 40). The treatment can cause a couple of things. Either, I go into early menopause, or something happens which makes me infertile but I don't go into early menopause (I don't know, may be my eggs go bad or I stop ovulating or something.... not sure).

I need to make a decision therefore as to whether I have eggs harvested in case I get into the 40% chance of becoming infertile. The eggs would need to be fertilised and frozen. Then, at such time as my boyfriend and I decide (at least 2 years after diagnosis), be implanted and I go through IVF to get pregnant. If my boyfriend and I don't make it as a couple, the eggs could be destroyed.

The harvesting procedure itself is 'another procedure'. My boyfriend is being very good. He has said the final decision really lies with me. He is not putting me under any pressure at all. In fact, he worries about me delaying my chemo (although the Oncologist is not worried at all). It would mean starting the chemo in 4-6 weeks time, as opposed to 2 weeks time. I said I would let my Oncologist which way I wanted to go, on Monday.

This is a big responsibility. If I do this, it could create pressure on my relationship in the future. If I don't, I may regret it in the future. I have spoken with my family who all say I should definitely do it. In my own mind, I'm afraid of more needles and things but don't necessarily feel that's a good enough reason not to do it.

Has anyone else here had to make this decision, or been through IVF? Even if you haven't, please let me know what your thoughts are. I really need some guidance here.

Thank you xxxx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi.

    Has to your choice but I "saved" some of my sperm just before a vasectomy. Kept it for about 15 years then ditched it, got divorced and now with my lovely T buy no longer have the choice. Can be a bum whatever you choose!

    Whatever you decide will be the right choice.

    love n hugs

    A xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Like Andrew said it has to be YOUR choice....but the old saying "better to be safe than sorry" springs to mind.

    Good luck.

    Debs xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi there,

    I read your blog quite often but dont think ive written to you before.

    You say you have two kids already and dont have a yearning for more,does that not say it all to you? My new partner and i toyed briefly with the idea of having our own kids together before cancer(i already have a kidney transplant) but i feel my body had been through enough stress and surgery to give a baby the best chance,plus treatment drains you and surgery leaves you shattered,im always scared that we had a child together and i wasnt well enough to be a proper mum.

    Its a hard desicion,but i guess harvesting some eggs wouldnt do any harm and at least the choice isnt taken away from you,but just remember IVF doesnt always work and would you both be able to cope with that?

    Sorry if i sound so negative im just being realistic.

    Take care

    Leigh xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hi ,

    oh decisions, decisions.....its moments like these i think we would all love to be able to reach for that crystal ball for the answers......

    i'm sorry i can't really offer any valuable information as i havent been faced with this issue myself ,altho my oncologist has told me i will be left infertile by the radiation i have recently completed

    (it was to my groin so will destroy my ovaries i will also have an early menopause which i'm not looking forward to)

    he did however ask me before i started my treatment  how many children i have and if i was considering any more ,but as i have 5 lovely children i thought i should just count my blessings for those and get on with my treatment it was already 3 months from my initial diagnosis as i had to have  a bone marrow biopsy and 2  operations to remove lynph nodes so time was ticking by......

    if i was in your position tho and holding off  your treatment by a few weeks in order to harvest your eggs for the future  will not cause you more risk i would definitely consider doing it .

    you are going thro enough emotional turmoil dealing with this right now it would be cruel if in the future you and you partner are desperate for children and your cancer and treatment would have taken the option away from you.....i would prersonally do it (and raise your middle finger to cancer .....knowing it isn't going to take any thing more from you :O) )

    i wish you every luck in what ever you decide to do

    with love and hugs trudy xxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    toss a coin!

    good luck hun

    loadsa love

    xNx