All day I've been feeling it. All day yesterday if I think back. It won't go away.
A dull tightness in my throat. In my stomach. Can't quite catch my breath. Every so often having to take deep 'sighs' just to have a full, comfortable breath in. Anxiety. I think it's anxiety. It's constant.
Just thought I was feeling a little asthmatic. I don't get it majorly or anything. Just a little wheezy now and then when I'm a bit stressed or hayfeverish. But it's not asthma. It's different. It's in different places. Not just my chest. I can almost feel the chemicals racing round my body. It won't go.
Stayed in most of the day. Did some washing. Watched more telly. The anxiety was there. Went out to my parents. Saw the family. Anxiety still there. Came home. Ate dinner (didn't feel like it, but ate it anyway). It's constant.
Need to calm down somehow. Necessary for physiological reasons. Otherwise I'll end up with an ulcer or something. Options. What are my options?
Tomazopan. I've got some upstairs. But don't want to take those on a regular basis in case I get addicted. Don't even know if I'm allowed to take it actually.
Night nurse. That's always good. That's upstairs too. The anti-histamine knocks you out good and proper. But I'll save that one for another time I think.
So, Brandy. A little brandy. I don't like alcohol and don't drink, but found Brandy helped from time to time during my divorce when I was stressed. However, only way to drink it is to put ice in it. Takes the edge out of the taste. However, I've got NO ICE!!!! Went to my neighbour with my empty brandy glass. Lovely old man. Told him why I needed ice. Why I wanted brandy. He nearly fell over. Nearly cried right in front of me. A sweet man. No ice though!
Home again. Found my ice tray. It's been in the freezer now for an hour or so. Ooooh! Just checked. We have some shells of ice cubes already formed. Excellent. Brandy is in my special brandy glass, waiting for the ice to be ready. 4 ice cube shells in.
Mmmmmmmmmmm. Gradually feeling a little bit calmer now. Edges being rounded off a little....
Hi Monna..............you have only just been diagnosed and you are starting a journey into the unknown just like the rest of us have and it isn't easy to just be laid back about it. My brain couldn't shut down to start with but once I had an idea of what I would be going through I just went with it, I had no choice really and for me it was music that helped. When I was angry I played rock music, the beat of the drums seemed to get rid of my anger, to relax I played soft flowing music and so on, music to match my mood. Just give yourself a chance for what has happend, it is alot to take in love and keep blogging, putting your feeling down on here helps, especially knowing that people on here know exactly what you are going through and will support you all the way. We fight cancer together............Take care.............Love Carol
Just to say if you need knock out drops tonight then it will be finr to take Temezepam. If you use it correctly you wont become addicted and you'll get a good nights sleep, then your brain will get some rest too! I was the same as you my brain went round in cirles and by the end of the day I was exhausted so I too had a little help for a while there is no problem with it in the right circumstances.
