My dilemma

1 minute read time.

Hi... I am new to this and have always shied away from support groups in the past but I thought I would try something new.

My biography contains details of my diagnosis of secondary breast cancer.  Where I am at the moment is trying to decide whether to start what would be my 5th type of chemotherapy despite my oncologist saying it would have a slim chance of working.  I have also had 2 applications to the Interim Cancer Drugs Funds refused for the drug Lapatinib.

I am feeling relatively well at the moment.  My gut reaction is to refuse the chemo as I cannot stand the thought of PICC lines again, possible side effects of the chemo and the constant fear of infection due to low blood count.  After all - I have been there many times before.  But there is always the niggling doubt - what if this is the one that works despite what my oncologist thinks.  However the extra weeks that the chemo may give me may be ruinied by the side effects of chemo.

I am consumed by the feelings and thoughts of my family who understand my reasons but I know think that maybe I should give it a shot - after all I probably would think the same if it was them and want them to do anything to live a bit longer.

Anyone in a similar position or who can give some words of wisdom...

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Only you can make this decision.  I couldn't have chemo as caught infection on first shot and nearly died - by the time I was physically well enough it was too late.  That was in 2007 and I had aggressive grade 3 breast cancer.  Fingers crossed I'm still here.  I hope there is someone on here in the same situation as you and you are able to thoroughly think this through.  I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you find peace.  Ann x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi boodle, I also have secondary b.c in my liver, had a bit in my bones that the chemo got rid of, and cancer in my uterus caused by tamoxifen.... First dx in 99 .....was told I only had 3 to 4 months to live in 08, when They found it had spread, since 08 I've had 8 fec 100 and 6 full dose taxotere 18 months after the fec finished, I know chemo sucks, it really does, but I'm still alive, since 08 I have finished my bucket list, I've celebrated my only daughter getting married then quickly pregnant so I could be a granny (grandchild to order lol) my 30 th anniversary, my 50th birthday and many more wonderful things, and the only reason I'm alive to see these things, is because, the chemo worked and I refuse to go! Ha ha, my doc says if I manage to last 2 years without anymore tumours that he'll try taxotere again, if not he'll try something else, but when you think that nearly 3YEARS ago I was supposed to be dead, the fact that he's talking like that is a miracle in itself.... My sisters bought me a plaque back in 08 I keep it in my kitchen..... It says "EXPECT A MIRICLE" and I do!

    Only you know and can decide what to do, but when/if the cancer finally takes me, I will know that I done everything in my power to fight it...... I wish you all the strength you need, to do what you have to do

    COURAGE......IS WHEN YOUR SCARED TO DEATH.....BUT YOU SADDLE UP ANYWAY

    Love and hugs

    LIZ xxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Boodle,

    Whatever you choose I hope its the right one for you. All the best and good luck.

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi,Cant give you any advise but i truly wish you luck with whatever you decide.

    Love kaz x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Fight every step of the way, thats what I say.  The comments made by Lizg hopefully will give the strength to move forward to say "i want more time" .  Only you can make that decision but I hope that your journey to be pain free, no hiccups with the chemo and you come out the other side like liz.  Good luck and i send you loads of hugsxxxx