Debs Daily Deliberations 120

3 minute read time.
Morning all, yes I know I am late again but the chemo seemed to really whack me out yesterday and I have been worrying about my headaches. They are like when the RT caused my brain to swell and I was put on steroids........they went - heaven! but now I am down to 1mg a day they seem to be creeping back and this worries me as it probably means the swelling hasn't entirely gone down and this would be the first thing I haven't accomplished in record time! How silly that I see it all as a race and success and failure. Of course, it could be a side-effect of coming off the steroids, combined with the chemo cycle and my impending womanly cycle - a lotta hormones and poison going on there. The sensible thing to do would have been to have rung my neuro-oncologist nurse but I hate to bother her over a few headaches!!!!! OK whinge over. I woke yesterday with a slight headache, not a raging buttercup one but I knew it was there - lurking waiting to get me! I even went as far as to take two spoonfuls of fabric softeners ok the Lactolose stuff and it basically does what Comfort does but for your waste product and it doesn't make it smell as nice (tmi sorry LOL). I just felt blah, did the washing and hung it out, washed up and that was all I could manage. My sister called round and took me to the end of summer school presentation.........the assistant head teachers speech was = well I don't know really I drifted off and could see his mouth moving but I was no longer connected to this planet! There were displays of their work, The Henry Moore Foundation trip they went on, they had made mortar bowls to grind your spices etc in at a local museum. They had a display of hot air balloons they had papier mache'd and painted.....decorated stones, made geometrical shapes out of card. Some written work too, was impressed with Lara's spelling and handwriting to be honest! Lara was most excited that they had been hatching chickens and 5 were now cheeping away in a heated box. I can honestly say I just about got through this..........and when my sister dropped us off home, I just flopped onto the sofa and stayed there until Tony got home. This was the second day this week I hadn't prepared dinner and Tony had to deal with it, so he did what he does best, grabbed a McDonald's on his way back after feeding the birds. Normally I would cringe, but as Maccy D's has an adverse effect on me.......I figured what the heck, might speed up the softeners work LOL Managed to stay awake until 10pm and then headed to bed, I have woken with the same dull headache today - I DONT LIKE IT ONE BIT. We actually talked about my job last night, I am dead keen to get back in September at the beginning of the school term. Sods law that if my bloods are ok, I will be on the next cycle of chemo then! My boss knows that I couldn't work during the week I was taking the tablets, but I am seriously worrying about it all now. I am responsible for around 6-8 keychildren out of the 18-21 we have every morning. Its very important with young children that continuity of care is observed and with me only doing 3 weeks every month until December or later, what will this do. Then there's my oncologist appointment every Friday before the cycle and then the MRI's every 3 months until I am no longer breathing..... I only work 3 hours a day term-time only and is it worth it. I thought the benefits of the normality would be good for me, but the risks due to kiddie snot, sneezes, dirty hands, childhood diseases may outweigh it. More food for thought! Thought for yesterday: A laugh is a smile that bursts. Mary H Waldrip
Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    How are you going to fit work in when you have blogs to update, recipes to write and other blogs to answer???????????

    Ring your neuro-oncologist nurse, you know it makes sense. Then again Debs --- Sense two don't go together LOL Seriously give her a ring on Monday just to put our minds and Tony's at rest.  I'm sure she would rather you ring her than you go through worry or pain. Expect to read on Monday/Tuesday that you've rung her.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I agree please ring her and if you have a weekend no use it.

    As a nurse myself albeit in paediatrics I would much rather my patients 'bother' me, which is it isnt (a bother that is) than suffer, that would be more painfull to me.

    Know what you mean about the work thing, I've been gung ho I want to go back as and when I can even if its just to teach on the unit etc etc. However have now come to realise it is completely impractical as 1 we get lots of kids with really ugh infections, (yep swine flue can be the least of our kids worries)   2 I'd be bound to push myself to hard to help out that it would be counter productive in the long term.

    Know what you mean though about continuity and kids are so worth it, just thinkig of what some of my patients have been through and managed to smile and be normal as often as possible gives me strength on the bad days.

    Hope you and all the family have a lovely weekend now the sun is finally shining,

    PHONE THE NURSE

    take care

    g

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    But it will be so easy at school, just make the little ones with colds/sniffles etc stand outside until they are better. Always worked for my kids ;-)

    A xx