For our Cancer Talk Week webchat, we were joined by Sue Parkes from Relate to answer all your questions on how cancer has affected your relationships with friends, family and partners. If you’d like to read up on this topic, we have lots of information in our Relationships and Communications section.

It’s hard in what may be called a young relationship – one partner becomes so dependant on the other and at the diagnosis you feel you have gone from hero to zero.

Cancer and its treatments can have a big impact on relationships no matter how long they have been established.  Even if the changes and problems are temporary, those around you may need help to understand what is going on.  It can be more difficult in a newish relationship because you might not have had to cope with any tough stuff yet.  Please go to our Cancer, you and your partner section for advice on how to cope with emotional issues you both could be experiencing.

I haven’t even told anyone to have cancer - only my best friend. I just can’t face the way they treat you differently so it has put me off telling anyone. 

It is always good to talk to someone about what is going on; you may choose a family member, friend or you could come to Relate; our counsellors can help you through this tough time. It is hard to manage this with little support around you.  I think you need to call the Macmillan Support line on 0808 808 00 00 and talk this through with them. It would be really helpful for you to be able to talk openly but in confidence about this.
Maybe if you tell your Mum she will be able to help and support you.  If it is a difficult conversation then a Relate family counsellor can help. Please call the Relate helpline on 0300 100 1234.

I am recently applying for job posts and in every application there is a disability section which asks if you have a long standing illness... Is cancer considered a ling standing illness? Sometimes I really get depressed to find that I may have to fall in the disability category.

It’s understandable for you to feel this way as it's a label that you might not associate with yourself. However this classification protects you against discrimination and might mean that you’re entitled to more financial benefits.  Please have a look at our Looking for work when you have or have had cancer section for more information on this.

It is hard to cope with a recent diagnosis, but I think talking with professionals about how this affects you is really useful and helps you to manage.  Please do call our support line on 0808 808 00 00, Monday to Friday; 9 - 8pm if you need to talk to someone about this.

Is there a counselling service in Scotland?

There is – please visit http://www.relationships-scotland.org.uk/

Thankfully my husband has been in remission for a year now. We got through the cancer together but the aftermath is pulling us apart. My husband won’t go to counselling; what should I do?

You can never predict how people will behave towards an issue like cancer; nor can you say when people will find it difficult. You could always come on your own to discuss how it is affecting you both and the perhaps he might join you. Sometimes people try to be as normal as possible around cancer patients because they think it helps; again these are the sorts of issues which need to be talked about.  Please go to our Cancer, you and your partner section for more information and tips on how you and your partner can open up to each other.

Hi. Can I ask about the best ways of helping young children when they see a parent ill?

This is a good question and Relate can help people in Family Counselling to talk to children about what is happening.  Most Relate centres have a children and young person’s counselling service; please call 0300 100 1234 to find out about your nearest centre, or have a look on Relate’s website.

We’ve also got some more information about talking to children with a video of someone explaining her experience.

For more information on any of the above, or you need to speak to someone about anything else, please contact your support team on 0808 808 00 00, 9am - 8pm - Monday to Friday.