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Blog for Carers II: There is a Vibe in my Soup
Are you sitting comfortably? Got the slippers on? The fire crackling in the hearth?
Here is a little medical drama for your
entertainment – it does have a reasonably happy ending, never fear. I have simplified the story a little –
I have got to get going with the next round of soup (soup-opera?).
There are three doctors, scattered
across the country, who recommend three different treatments for the same
patient. There is professional
pride at stake here but, most importantly, there is a very sick, very brave
patient who has a loving but meddlesome wife (that’s me, of course.) None of the three treatments being
offered are life saving, but two offer the hope of a longer survival time and
one of these is minimally invasive and very safe. The third, the only one on offer locally, can have complications,
is not reversible and is a ‘contraindication’ (useful medical jargon that ) to
at least one of the other treatments.
This third option is as ‘cheap as chips’.
You are already ahead of me – you know what is going to
happen, don’t you?
Yes, very sick, brave patient is
recommended the ‘cheap as chips’ version.
But the drama doesn’t stop there: at the eleventh hour, expert at the
other end of the country says ‘cheap as chips’ version would not be suitable
for our hero at all... and he will see our hero at his state-of-the-art place
of work which is several hundred miles away.
There is a catch, of course, and to
give you a hint, the meddlesome wife is wondering, as she stirs the soup,
whether this will mean re-mortgaging …and will the dogs be happy living in a ‘yurt’ should she have
to sell the house …
As medical dramas go, it is not quite
up there with ER but there is a reasonably satisfactory ending to this episode in
that we have at least the chance of a treatment which should increase both
quality of life and survival time – a little.
Let us hope that the story-line runs as
long as the ER series – and that there will be the boxed set on the shelves for
many Christmases to come.
And to end on an even more positive
note, one of the in-laws has organized for Reiki thoughts to be sent remotely
from a master who is teaching in a former Soviet country.
Well, that’s a relief.
Was that a vibe that dropped in the
have you used you tube for your research? there's some good stuff there. and you can probably get reiki there ...
Oh Buzzie, what a terrible dilema to be in.....a yurt...at this time of the year! How about going down the soup route? Make it, sell it and make more. Maybe, in time, you will have enough money to travel to the Big Onc's house and get the treatment your husband should be offered anyway.
As for Master Reiki, if that is what helps your in-law cope so be it! We have candles growing in bowls in some friends homes, buried something or others in other friends homes and I BELIEVE in every one of them....... If somebody said wearing a dead rat in my knickers all day would eradicate this horrible nightmare I would be wearing it now trust me!!
The trouble is, we do have to be realistic. Selling ones home for some 'extra' him/you time is something that has to be discussed fully between you....you know what I am saying! I too would be cleaning the house and phoning the Hips and Estate Agent man and packing the boxes (multi tasking) if I thought it would mean a bit more than 'extra' time for hubby. !
Go get yourself a fivers worth of lotto for tomorrow and I will cross my fingers and eyes for you both.
From one meddlesome wife to another. I wish you all the very best. I have been blogging about G's pivate treatment in Germany. It was expensive, but it seems to have bought him some more time, when the NHS could offer nothing. I made up my mind I would support whatever secision G makes about treatment, but the decision had to be his alone.
I know that whatever happens now, as we scrimp along on our depleted savings, we both did everything we could to fight this vile disease. A personal view I know. There is never a one size fits all to these dilemas.
PS have you applied to your PCT for funding for the prefered treatment?
Buzzie, its really bad that you have to
think about remorgerging your home to
get treatment for your hubby that you
have both paid in for god knows how long
in tax and national insurance. And they
cant even guarantee if the treatment will
work, how much longer are they talking
about with the top treatment. I know like
many you would sell your soul for your
hubby to have more time, but will that
time be quality time with no bad side
effects, and time to enjoy life no matter
how long, lots to think about , but having
said that Buzzie you and your hubby must do what ever feels right.
With Love Lucylee. xxxxx
Never fear - I don't think it is the yurt yet. But I do agree with Daffie - money is just money but a little extra time is beyond price.
And don't get me wrong - we are grateful for all helping thoughts - even the remote reiki! The soup kitchen is a great idea. How about 'Soup for the Soul?'I haven't tried the rats in the knickers - anyone know if this works?
Thanks for your kind comments - and thank you for the laugh Cheryl and Peter. Despite my chirpy tone - there is not a lot of laughter at the moment.
Daffie - I don't think the Health Trust will help - although the treatment is NICE approved. Time is too short to find someone who does it within the NHS and we are getting exhausted. It may all be clutching at straws- but while there is a straw to clutch ...
Love to you all - and thanks for reading my drivel.
Oh - I just got the 'soup route' joke! That was very slow - a slow route?
I'm back and catching up on your souper blog. What a terrible and stressful dilema that you have to deal with!!! There's a caveat - "Most expensive" does not always translate into "most time". One of the alternative treatments that my husband took (after our traditional western oncologists declared that they couldn't cure his cancer) cost us $1,000 per month... It did nothing - and his cancer continues to grow and spread (although very very slowly, thankfully). When you're desparate, there will always be someone out there ready to take your money with promises that they may or may not be able to deliver. You said that there were three options - two of which would give your husband more time.. What is that other one and how does it compare?
I'm sending you healing Vibes from across the ocean while you eat your warm soup in the comfort of your yurt.
Love & Hugs, Mau
Glad you are back safely. Was that a vibe I felt from across the ocean? And I send one back to you.
Between you and me, I am beginning to think that a yurt might have advantages over the current domestic arrangements - not so far to go to stir the soup.
Don't worry, none of the treatments are at all alternative (but we would go for those too!) it is just that the 'cheap as chips' option does nothing other than push the tumour aside. There is also a high moribidity rate with this option and it seems very much for those in the last stage. The option we have gone for is done on our health service, somewhere, but not where we are. Because time is of the essence, we are going to pay.
More of this in another blog.
Thinking of you both,
As I said earlier, there is no one size fits all for these sort of cirumstances. If it is any help to you, here is how I approached the problem. Having decided we could just about cover the costs of treaments, including airfares and hotel bills, I told G that I would support whatever decision he made. I did not want him to turn to me in the furture and say if only I had tried......The treatment is a recognised proceedure in Germany. We knew there was a twenty five percent chance of a 50% or better reduction in the tumour. He decided to go for it, and he has almost hit the jackpot. At the moment, the tumour is clinically dead. For how long, or whether others will develop, we don't know, but for now we have more precious time together.
Just on other thing, is your GP on side? We have found support from our GP invaluable, especially when G developed some worrying side effects from his final treatment
All the very best to you both. Do let us know how you are doing.
Reading your blogs feels just like you could be talking about my dad!! I have been reading for a long time (and am so glad you decided to keep blogging) but haven't posted yet but the content of this blog has forced me to be brave and put 'pen' to 'paper'!
You have put so much time into researching other treatments for your husband that I feel guilty that I haven't done the same for my dad. I have been too scared to look anthing up on the internet as I don't want to read anything that is too scary and don't want to be taken in by treatment that isn't going to help.
Would you mind me asking you what 3 treatments have been recommended to you other than the usual ones as my dad's cancer is in the same place so they might be relevant for him too? I tried to send you a personal message but haven't worked out how to do that yet so hope you don't mind me doing it here.
Many thanks in advance and sending you and your husband more soup vibes!
Hi Char Harr - I have added you as a 'friend' - I can then answer any questions which you may have and be able to help, within reason. Have you joined any of the oesophageal cancer forums? Have a look and introduce yourself - there is a wealth of experience there.
Daffie - I am following your story with interest. Germany is perhaps an option for us too.
Thanks for all your kind thoughts. Next blog coming soon -feeling a bit blogged out at the moment!
May there be many vibes in many bowls of soup.
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