I have such a mix of feelings about this shock diagnosis. It would appear to be an unmentionable cancer, implying strange behaviour in the past! I shall just look coy! 😝 Think what you like! Since receiving the news I have become a raving hypochondriac! Every small pain that I would usually ignore now becomes the focus of attention and has a sinister meaningI I imagine my lymph nodes are involved, or I have secondaries in my lungs because I have a tickly cough! All this before I've had the results of the CT and MRI scans! Silly old moo! The prospect of the cure doesn't fill me with any enthusiasm ether! I have been very grateful following the postings of the others on the site, and I'm so grateful for their honesty. I like to know what im up against! Forewarned is forearmed so to speak! No idea why I have developed this lesion, I don't fit the profiles, so I'm in the middle of desperately sad, hopping mad and scared witless!. To add to all this, I cared for my husband through 2 bouts of cancer, the last of which he succumbed to in 2011. The chemotherapy he received affected his hearing, making him quite deaf. We had some very odd conversations! My poor husband unfortunately lost his sense of humour through both of his ordeals, I am determined to find the better side of all this, there has to be one or I shall drown myself 😱😜 Anyone, feel free to remind me of my resolve when I'm whinging about a pain in my toasted tush! So I'm using this blog as a catharsis for my odd way of feeling as there don't seem to be many in this particular group and I'm feeling somewhat isolated. Love and blessings to all Mary😘
Hi Mary
You are the first person I have come across in the same situation. Not that we share the same type of cancer( mine is lymphoma) but that we are facing this road having already been there once with our husbands.I am finding it very hard to separate my own Cancer path from Rick's.
I loved your summary "sad, mad and scared witless" that's just how I feel
Jane x
Hello Mary,it is a nightmare!..husband just gone through and come out the other side of this..Rectal Cancer..appeared very suddenly. The 'every pain must be something bad' bit being very much a part of this journey.Waiting for scan results and other tests was like being on a Roller Coaster..bit of good news here a bit of worrying info there and then just making up your own diagnosis anyway..(sure Mick was very pleased at this point to be sharing his life with a Health Anxiety Sufferer!)..We found a sense of humour helped us through..although no laughing matter..it was a case of laugh or cry..we did both..every little bit of positive info we got ..we magnified..and tried to feel 'lucky'..favourite phrase being..'it could be worse'..i know it is for many and am very sorry to hear that you have been through this with your husband...talk,talk and talk some more..it does help to share..you sound like a lighthearted person..that will help..Mick is doing well...so far...I wish you well..stay strong x
