I had my appt with my oncologist on Friday and she confirmed the area under my mx scar which I was slightly worried/curious about is intact my ribs! It made me laugh! She was very thorough with her examination and answered all my questions and I felt loads better... I get a stress build up in the few days leading up to any of my hospital appointments (except chemo), I even had tears of relief in the car on the way home. The only thing which is concerning me since my appointment is that when I told her my veins were a little painful she quickly responded with "we'll use your left side for the next three". I reminded her I'd had a LNC (nodes all clear) and she told me that it wouldn't be a problem as medically and anatomically a clearance isn't the same and I will still have some lymph nodes... This surprised me! I have called my breast care nurse and spoke with her colleague who said the oncology nurses who administer my chemo will listen to my concerns and do their best to use my right side. Developing lymphodema is a major worry of mine and do have a cannula put in my left hand is a big no no! I'm being so careful and letting them use my left hand is like in doing all my carefulness! Had my bloods done today so fingers crossed 4th chemo goes ahead tomorrow! X

Day 4 into 3rd FEC and feeling fairly normal again.... Or have I forgotten what normal is and this is as good as it gets just now! I don't think I felt as nauseas this time round but maybe again I'm just a bit more used to the feeling. Slightly concerned that I still have quite a lot of hair on my head.... It's thinned loads and my husband buzzed it to about a no4 but I thought I was going to be very bald by this stage but it's just VERY thin. I did have VERY thick hair to begin with so maybe it's just taking time. I was meant to be at the Abu Dhabi grand prix this weekend :( next year! Our friends over there are looking forward to a spring time visit from us instead! I'm 32 next Thursday, hubby and I planning a night away together next weekend, hopefully I'm feeling good for it, will be nice to have some us time.

My third chemo is due in 4 days, really hope it's not delayed again but as I'm still battling this cold I'm fully expecting it to be put back again :( Had awful news last Wednesday that my father in law's oral cancer has spread all over his skull and his consultant has advised his he has 3 months. He's been through such a lot, massive 11hr last November, skin and bone grafts, radiotherapy and recovered well or so we thought until he began to have a lot of pain... This is why. I'm absolutely devastated, he's one of the nicest men you could ever meet. My husband is holding it together but I know his heart is breaking. He's has his Dad's cancer to face, mine 6 months later and now trying to accept that he is actually going to lose his Dad soon. I thought this Christmas was going to be hard with me nearing the end of chemo but it's likely to be extra hard now. Life really is cruel at times!

My 2nd chemo was delayed 4 days due to my white blood cell count not being high enough but finally got it yesterday. My hand and arm seemed loads colder than last time so they put one of the microwaveable heat pads and that helped so I'll be asking for that at the start next time. Had a bit of an off night last night, awake from about 2am-4am, just completely wide awake and feeling sorry for myself! Took an anti sickness to cover myself and went downstairs for a while but nothing on tv was capturing my attention so I went back up and cosied into my husband. I had deliberately avoided the steroid tablet (on my oncology nurses advice) as I had a restless night after my first chemo but I can't blame the steroid this time! That's me a third of the way through :)

Had my pre chemo bloods today and also went to a look good feel better workshop, it was great and lovely to meet and chat to other women going through similar things and all offs at different stages through our treatment and able to share experiences and tips. I've had two significantly tired days this cycle, day 6 and day 13, both Wednesday's (coincidence I think!), felt knackered both days then back to myself the day later. Not knackered enough to stay in bed or not manage school run or kids activities but pretty lethargic. I'm keen to get chemo no2 done on Thursday and see the weekend through, hopefully as successfully as last time, I was so scared of being sick last time so have a bit more confidence this time. My scalp is feeling quite uncomfortable now and more hair than normal came out when I washed and dried it the other day and a few greys which were annoying me (hair not been coloured since diagnosis at end of June) just came out at the gentlest pull. I don't think it's going to be long before I'm sporting my lovely new wig.