2013

3 minute read time.

Little update of what happened, even though i still dont know details.

Lots of concern in me as first big batch of cancer n chemo i coped fine with, this second lot has taken my year away.

In Dec they wanted to give me 5fu for the secondary sore breast that turned up after bowel shrunk. So couldnt get my stoma reversal or away from chemo but didnt want the full breast cancer loose hair chemo i wanted to go back on the 5fu that helped kicked the original tumour stuff. So 8wks of chemo got organised but not til Jan as i was so upset n wanted the christmas i was originally better for. I survived christmas day.........after that rapidly went backwards and was sore and tired and my family had to help me shower quickly some days and then start of jan it was moved to wheelchair and ran to hospital for piccline and the one little burst of chemo.

As per first year of chemo it drew the sleepiness in. Then apparently i stopped being able to talk, and anyone of my friends named mentioned i didnt even know who it was. Nurses came to house and set up a hospital bed which ive been physically attatched to since halfway through jan and carers ripped me apart so cancelled them and am trying to heal but i need crutches n learn to stand to get rid of wires n properly heel. I get no visitors i can put up with and worried immune system needs protected.

Not seen my onc or heard from the one i moved to so dont even know what will happen and dont even have a diagnosis for this - no dr, nurse or onc has told me anything.

I lost lots of weight and they just had me on paracetamol which never touched me in my life so i couldnt do anything for weeks. Now i on morphine steroids n my cocodamol so im awake each day. Im not stuttering as much, almost have my own voice back. Im learning how to type on laptop as its easier than to txt.  im desperate to get disconnected from bed n can take myself to toilet so that i can try to heal the injury wires/carers done to me.

I only have half a dozen ppl who knew bout the breast cancer and first chemo, they all want to visit but know they cant. Cannot believe its not going to be until march i can see people and know i might just be on wheelchair and not sticks next month.

Due to all the lost weight the breast cyst feels big and solid. That breast is big and the other shrunk. I really wish they cut it out n then hit some chemo but they refused to. Dont know what they will change whenever i get told to go back to hospital. I hate the onc i got changed to. Every app i spent over 3 hrs waiting n her messing me around and look at state its put me in.

2013 supposed to be my year, and i dont remember a blink.

Dont suppose anyone knows anythin about how backwards i went n months, communication and everythin lost and how it can be connected to bc or chemo? Im scared when i go back to chemo its going to do this to me again, but im desperate to get my breast challenged to get rid.  

Love a very weak, missing mutant hero title x 

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    That superhero is still within you and reading this I can see her bursting to get out.

    Can you get someone to chase up appointments and go along with you to explain how bad it's been for you, there may be an alternative.

    There isn't a one size fits all for Breast Cancer (or any other, I guess) but if you are kept informed why something is or isn't happening that should at least help you deal with it, as you and I know you can. It might be much easier to have your lump removed once chemo has done it's job.

    Keep fighting warror maiden...........lots of love from all your macfamily xo

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    My GP who is excellent, my st vincents worker and district nurses all look after me and are in touch. The onc is on mobile with my gp but just says im not to go to hospital, think until they say im back bein me im not allowed on app. 
    DN told me everytime u get chemo, even if u had that same drug before it can affect u diff but i havent ever experienced this and i hate that i dont know what going on.
    Dr n nurses v proud ive done so much beta in a wk bt want me to take it slow. im desperate to get on feet so i get rid of wires n can heal cos thats whats stopping my life n they done it to me. im mortified.
    If i get to wheelchair n get my own bed back i can maybe have a couple of visits n everyone help me practice but they goin to give me physio in next 2 wks n i want the crutches like today as i fully trained from physio a few yrs ago and sit and roll my ankles n try to keep legs loose. They are all brittle n skinny n if i not stretched need carried from seat/bed/wheels.  xxx